Felicity House: A Sanctuary for Autistic Women in the Heart of NYC

In my quest to visit autistic charities and spaces in New York, particularly those with an emphasis on art and creativity, I came to view Felicity House after corresponding with the team via email. As I made my way there, through the chaotic and bustling streets of the ever-hustling Manhattan – and truly, I cannot emphasise enough how loud, often smelly, haphazard and all-consuming NYC can be at times. I describe these feelings and experiences in my blog ‘NYC: A Neurodiverse Perspective' – take a read if you’d like to learn more. But here I was. In front of this grand door, on yet another busy street, about to go inside…

The beautiful space inside Felicity House

I could not have more pleasantly surprised with the other side of this door! A beautiful space that instantly felt like home. It had this aura of calm, ease and genuine friendliness - a place of real serenity. Comfortable, clean and quiet - it couldn’t contrast more from the outside world. I was invited in and learnt more about Felicity House. How it’s a non-clinical program for autistic women, living in and around New York. The women travel in from all over: New Jersey, Connecticut and all five boroughs of NYC. There are no geographical restrictions. The space gives women the opportunity to be part of a community and to do and try new things. The only criteria are that attendees need to be female, over the age of eighteen and to have had an official diagnosis for autism. There are no wait times either. Amazing, right..?

The aim of the place is that it acts as an adjunct to the person’s life – so they can fit coming to Felicity House around their life; be it their studies, home or work commitments. Women can come to as many or as few sessions as they like, of which there are normally 10-15 people in attendance. And that’s what I really liked about the place – there are no real obligations or pressure in any way.

What can women do at Felicity House?

They have a calendar of events which they announce in advance and send via email and have on their noticeboard. The events and activities are incredibly varied, intriguing and accessible. They can be anything from movie nights, meditation to paint evenings. Trips outside the house are also organised, for instance there’s a visit to New-York’s Historical Society Museum where members will receive a guided tour of the new exhibit, ‘Harry Potter: A History of Magic’. Another of its aims is to act as a ‘halfway house’ in helping women to try something new and different. It can often be tricky, and hence overwhelming when considering the prospect of trying something new, let alone actually doing it. But by trying it in a safe space, with others in your community that you know, and having it catered towards an autistic audience, helps make things that bit easier. For instance, the house has a Zumba class, and this involves having no mirrors in the room (mirrors are not good for autistic people, who are more inclined to struggle with bilateral movements!), the music is at a much lower volume, and no-one is shouted at or singled out if they don’t get the moves right! Shouldn’t all Zumba classes be like this..?

November 2018's schedule

The art room

How much does it cost to attend a session?

Want to hear the best part about the programme? It’s free. Yes, truly it is. And that’s simply because Felicity House is privately funded. The story of the house itself and how it came to be can be read here: https://felicity-house.org/our-house/house-story/ and is very interesting. The fact that it’s free to attend makes a huge difference. There’s not this infinite number of paperwork, progress reports, goals and all the rest of it that staff have to complete (America is pretty bureaucratic, I’ve found out). And obviously it’s hugely beneficial for the women too. You don’t have to worry about the costs. There’s no elitism. No stress in terms of worrying about the money and having to ration yourself to the number of sessions you can afford. Women can just come and be. There’s no asking for anything more. We need more of these places!

Photo of me: “we need more places like Felicity House where autistic women can simply BE!” I remember saying to myself. It was simply perfect.

What were my overall impressions?

I was very much impressed! I remember walking around and growing quite emotional the more I saw and heard about the space. It’s such a well-thought out concept with rooms that people can go to in and sit in by themselves - to a more sociable lounge - and soft lighting all around. I’m not saying that they don’t have challenges and that it doesn’t always work out, but I felt that what they had was actually pretty damn good. Lesley, the program manager said as we went around “we have this beautiful space because this is what the women here deserve”. And she is so right. We do deserve this. And I really hope that someday I’ll see more spaces like this supporting autistic women; a group that’s very often overlooked.

Has anyone else seen or heard of a similar place in another part of the world? Do drop me a note if you have.

Women and Autism - My Musings

Diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome (an Autism Spectrum Disorder) three years ago, I chose to embark on a collaborative art project to explore the issues around ‘women and autism’, which I’ve covered here in ‘Women and Autism - A Collaborative Artistic Partnership’. As I’ve learnt more about the condition over the years, I’ve noticed considerable gender differences in perceptions of autism; its presentation and coping strategies between men and women – to the point where women are often misdiagnosed or undiagnosed with autism. I’ve questioned this considerably and the reasons behind it. I feel there’s certainly an increase in recognition in this field of thought, especially from those already with a fair degree of autism awareness - but not so much beyond it. For beyond it still lies a more outdated and stereotypical image of the autistic male. An update and restart are needed.

I’ve summarised my musings in my exploration to consider and understand issues around ‘women and autism’ in a piece of creative writing, with the text transcribed out below the image.

“Men. Why is autism so different in men than in women? Or is it…? Why is the male ‘form’ the accepted norm? the one where people have this ‘aha’ moment and realise that ‘yes sure, I’ve heard of this Autism business!’ and they revert back to TV shows and films. ‘Atypical’ and What’s eating Gilbert Grape’. The media conveying a one-sided view of what is. And-how-it-is. And yet missing out on what oh-so-isn’t… why is Autism so much more apparent and ‘obvious’ in men? We have a subtler presentation they say. But the most dismissive comment of all: ‘Oooh, but you don’t look (how does one look autistic anyway?) autistic.’ How dare you. a compliment you meant? Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise that disregarding who I am and my total being is a compliment. For ‘so what’ if I’m autistic? Poor me…? An all cast set of male actors. Who are unlikely autistic, playing autistic men. In Science, Maths, Psychology. Historically. White men. All making inferences, studies, research, analysis – on Autism. What could they know? Or wish to consider about in female autistics? ‘Autism is Autism’ they say. Why are we misdiagnosed? Misunderstood. Undiagnosed. Why are we still playing catch-up with men? Every field. Yes, it’s unfair, blah, yes. But it’s not a whining point. If women are not being diagnosed, or misdiagnosed, their Autism is not being picked up on. Then this is a very serious point. And a subtler ‘presentation’ doesn’t mean we’re not struggling. That it’s not valid. That it’s less of an issue. That we can somehow seamlessly cope with it, because ‘we don’t look it’! We’re often over-compensating. And that’s hard work! The exhaustion, harshness, loudness, brightness. We feel this. Separate. A cultural gap. Initially misinterpreted as shy. Because women are more likely, at a societal level, to be considered shy… Bollocks. Gender differences. I am of course more than a label. More. But at the same time, this label can be helpful: liberating and empowering. And autistic women shouldn’t be left out here. Leave no-one behind they say. Well mean it.”

And it’s not just ‘women and autism’ that is the issue here either. For there are the differences that exist at a cultural and ethnic level. I’m discovering this more and more as I meet different people from the spectrum here in New York; all of whom have their various backgrounds and histories. Different school systems and state support. And the discussion and musings continue.

What are your views, if any, on ‘women and autism’? I’d be happy to hear to hear from you.

Women and Autism - A Collaborative Artistic Partnership

Interested in the theme of ‘Women and Autism’ and my desire to collaborate with autistic artists, I set out a proposal to New Jersey-based arts organisation Arts Unbound. I wanted to run a collaborative arts project that would involve group discussions, creative exploration and practical participation with each artist being asked to work with, and respond to the other artists’ approach, ideologies and physical work. The overall aim was to test the limits of collaborative working amongst those with autism, and to cross-pollinate the various layers of each individual’s creative visions and working methods - with the results to then be exhibited in a collaborative group exhibition. Exciting stuff!

Why ‘Women and Autism’ as the theme? Well, historically it was thought that women were less likely to be autistic than men, however recent research has highlighted the challenges in identifying autism in women. It is now recognised from research, clinical practice and anecdotal reports that many autistic females, or those who demonstrate the less traditionally obvious traits of autism, are simply not recognised. This can result in misdiagnosis, late diagnosis, or women not being diagnosed at all. As an autistic woman myself who was diagnosed in adulthood, I am also interested in the challenges faced by other autistic women and the perception of autism in women as a whole.

Arts Unbound put up a ‘call-out’ to female artists on the autistic spectrum, who were diagnosed in adulthood, to take part in the workshops. Regrettably we could only find one artist happy to partake, but still decided to go ahead and to run the project as a collaborative partnership. With hindsight, this actually worked very well! I took away a lot of learnings from the process and realised that there’s a lot to manage when running such a workshop. After running these two sessions, I feel a lot more confident, and have a far better idea of what works well - and conversely less so.

Maybellene working on a word association task

Session one: me working away on a task

Work in progress

My participant in the project, Maybelline Gonzalez (@MsMaybellene), is a very talented artist from New York, who works primarily in collage. Maybelline and I met on two occasions and I orchestrated discussions around the following questions and topics:

• Do you feel that autism is perceived or recognised as a ‘male’ condition?
• It is often said that the differences autistic women experience is of a subtler presentation, or may appear so to others. How do you feel about this? 
• Some autistic women feel that they are masking their autism to try and hide the fact that they feel different. Do you feel you mask your autism?
• As women, we are often told that we don’t ‘look’ or ‘seem’ autistic. Have your experienced this? 
• With less ‘obvious’ autistic traits, do you feel you have to prove yourself as being autistic?  
• What would we like to tell the world about being autistic and female?

Session two: Maybellene working on a collage piece

Each discussion was interjected by an arts-based activity that was collaborative in nature. For instance: a word association task based on our discussions; a collage summarising a particular feeling we experience; or abstract mark-marking to depict our difficulties in being autistic.

Collaborative text exercise exploring our own narratives within the context of ‘Women and Autism’

Creating a collaborative collage to explore the feeling of overwhelm and the consequent exhaustion we both experience

The discussions were truly fascinating as I considered aspects of autism and women that I previously hadn’t thought of before, for example, by considering the history of who has previously been studying autism; i.e. men. Maybelline’s experiences also fed into my own; both different yet completely relatable. The collaboration enabled me to think in different directions to my own.

An art piece created reflecting on the theme of ‘Women and Autism’ - first half

An art piece created reflecting on the theme of ‘Women and Autism’ - completed!

Overall, the process of collaborating, for me, was incredible. I felt this really came together in the second session once we’d started producing work together. At times it was nerve-wracking: to hand over/let the other person complete/add to your art work. However, once I’d allowed this to happen and for the trust to form, the outcome was remarkable. To create a shared vision in collaboration with another person was a very powerful feeling and something I would certainly like to try again. Going forwards, I’ll be creating more art works around collage – a medium that Maybellene uses – and effectively keeping our collaborative efforts going.

Our work forms part of the ‘Coaction’ exhibition which is currently being shown at the Dora Stein Gallery, Arts Unbound in New Jersey. If you’re in the area, please pop in and visit! 😊

Arts Unbound in New Jersey

'Women and Autism' - part of the 'Coaction' group exhibition at the Dora Stein Gallery - Image 1

'Women and Autism' - part of the 'Coaction' group exhibition at the Dora Stein Gallery - Image 2

'Women and Autism' - part of the 'Coaction' group exhibition at the Dora Stein Gallery - Image 3

Neurodiversity and the Arts - Arts Council Funding received to go to New York!

I am tremendously excited. For just a few days ago, I found out that I was successful in my funding application for the Arts Council’s ‘Developing your Creative Practise’ (DYCP). This is a new piece of funding, which started earlier this year, and gives artists of all forms the opportunity to try something different with their practise - and to ultimately have the opportunity that they wouldn’t otherwise have.

How did I get this, and what were the steps I undertook to create the proposal? Well, this blog will run through my process and hopefully make it clearer to those of your who are also looking to apply for similar funding. One that I would totally encourage, by the way!

So firstly, my artistic aim is to ‘create arts led advocacy work around neurodiversity that openly translates a positive message in impactful yet accessible ways’. I feel that by identifying your goal in the long-term is a great place to start. I then researched and found that to get closer to this objective, I would need to: build new relationships, receive mentorship and collaborate with other autistic artists - in a place that is progressive and leads the way in terms of the neurodiverse arts scene.

Me giving a talk at my autism-friendly and multi-sensory exhibition ‘Around the World in 80 Washing Lines’ 

In terms of the arts and neurodiversity, the United States is considerably advanced and progressive. For instance, it has more art centres and galleries that work with and support neurodiverse artists. Additionally, there is a higher concentration of neurodiverse artists based in the US, especially in/around the state of New York. My findings highlighted that New York City would be an ideal location and base to implement this step change in my working practice.

So, with my goal and location identified, I set to work in terms of researching and identifying potential opportunities. These included, for instance; meeting with influential people (who I emailed and set up meetings with), visiting neurodivergent arts centres (again emailing them to explain I’d be visiting) and the chance to lead workshops with autistic artists (also organised upfront) – all of whom I hope will be my collaborative partners for the next chapter of my artist career. I also researched and found artists who were willing to be my mentors during this time – both an exciting and rare opportunity. You may notice that I emailed and told these people/organisations that I’d be coming to New York. And that’s another key – believing you’re going. This way, the relationship builds regardless – and you’ll already be gaining.

One of the best pieces of advice I have to anyone applying for Arts Council funding is to attend a one-to-one surgery session in your area to meet with an ACE representative to talk your project through with. Having the chance to ask questions that are specific to your project is completely invaluable. You get to hear what the counterargument might be and where your focus should lay – especially when there is a strict character limit to adhere to. This, I believe, has been pinnacle in me writing a strong, focused application.

I also find it helpful to give my form to one or two other people and get their opinion. But just make sure it’s someone who understands you in terms of your artistic goals and your work. And of course; to come back to your application after a few days, or even weeks, after working on it. Like with my paintings – there’s nothing like a fresh set of eyes! Plus, with the way our minds work, they’ll always be thinking and working on the application in the background – very helpful while you crack on with everything else you have to do as an artist 😉

And finally: always get feedback if you don’t receive the grant. Even with this DYCP application – you can still phone up and ask - because it’s this feedback that will enable you to come back stronger next time round. This is what I did last year when I was initially turned down for funding for my #80WashingLines project. And I came back with a mightily amazing application the second time round - and received the funding!

So, let’s see where this opportunity takes me. At the very least it will set me on a journey of exploring my art practise within the context of collaborating and connection-making – all in a direction that is different to my typical art practise, yet still key to my art messaging. I’ll be writing up my findings in regular blog posts, so do please keep coming back to see how I’m getting on.

Until the Big Apple! 😊