Felicity House: A Sanctuary for Autistic Women in the Heart of NYC

In my quest to visit autistic charities and spaces in New York, particularly those with an emphasis on art and creativity, I came to view Felicity House after corresponding with the team via email. As I made my way there, through the chaotic and bustling streets of the ever-hustling Manhattan – and truly, I cannot emphasise enough how loud, often smelly, haphazard and all-consuming NYC can be at times. I describe these feelings and experiences in my blog ‘NYC: A Neurodiverse Perspective' – take a read if you’d like to learn more. But here I was. In front of this grand door, on yet another busy street, about to go inside…

The beautiful space inside Felicity House

I could not have more pleasantly surprised with the other side of this door! A beautiful space that instantly felt like home. It had this aura of calm, ease and genuine friendliness - a place of real serenity. Comfortable, clean and quiet - it couldn’t contrast more from the outside world. I was invited in and learnt more about Felicity House. How it’s a non-clinical program for autistic women, living in and around New York. The women travel in from all over: New Jersey, Connecticut and all five boroughs of NYC. There are no geographical restrictions. The space gives women the opportunity to be part of a community and to do and try new things. The only criteria are that attendees need to be female, over the age of eighteen and to have had an official diagnosis for autism. There are no wait times either. Amazing, right..?

The aim of the place is that it acts as an adjunct to the person’s life – so they can fit coming to Felicity House around their life; be it their studies, home or work commitments. Women can come to as many or as few sessions as they like, of which there are normally 10-15 people in attendance. And that’s what I really liked about the place – there are no real obligations or pressure in any way.

What can women do at Felicity House?

They have a calendar of events which they announce in advance and send via email and have on their noticeboard. The events and activities are incredibly varied, intriguing and accessible. They can be anything from movie nights, meditation to paint evenings. Trips outside the house are also organised, for instance there’s a visit to New-York’s Historical Society Museum where members will receive a guided tour of the new exhibit, ‘Harry Potter: A History of Magic’. Another of its aims is to act as a ‘halfway house’ in helping women to try something new and different. It can often be tricky, and hence overwhelming when considering the prospect of trying something new, let alone actually doing it. But by trying it in a safe space, with others in your community that you know, and having it catered towards an autistic audience, helps make things that bit easier. For instance, the house has a Zumba class, and this involves having no mirrors in the room (mirrors are not good for autistic people, who are more inclined to struggle with bilateral movements!), the music is at a much lower volume, and no-one is shouted at or singled out if they don’t get the moves right! Shouldn’t all Zumba classes be like this..?

November 2018's schedule

The art room

How much does it cost to attend a session?

Want to hear the best part about the programme? It’s free. Yes, truly it is. And that’s simply because Felicity House is privately funded. The story of the house itself and how it came to be can be read here: https://felicity-house.org/our-house/house-story/ and is very interesting. The fact that it’s free to attend makes a huge difference. There’s not this infinite number of paperwork, progress reports, goals and all the rest of it that staff have to complete (America is pretty bureaucratic, I’ve found out). And obviously it’s hugely beneficial for the women too. You don’t have to worry about the costs. There’s no elitism. No stress in terms of worrying about the money and having to ration yourself to the number of sessions you can afford. Women can just come and be. There’s no asking for anything more. We need more of these places!

Photo of me: “we need more places like Felicity House where autistic women can simply BE!” I remember saying to myself. It was simply perfect.

What were my overall impressions?

I was very much impressed! I remember walking around and growing quite emotional the more I saw and heard about the space. It’s such a well-thought out concept with rooms that people can go to in and sit in by themselves - to a more sociable lounge - and soft lighting all around. I’m not saying that they don’t have challenges and that it doesn’t always work out, but I felt that what they had was actually pretty damn good. Lesley, the program manager said as we went around “we have this beautiful space because this is what the women here deserve”. And she is so right. We do deserve this. And I really hope that someday I’ll see more spaces like this supporting autistic women; a group that’s very often overlooked.

Has anyone else seen or heard of a similar place in another part of the world? Do drop me a note if you have.